Well this is the last chapter of Family-Based Youth Ministry and my final post for this class. It's been a lot of fun and very helpful to learn, write, and figure out more about family life ministry through these texts and posts. The last chapter in this book is titled "Making it Work: Implementing a Family-Based Youth Ministry." This chapter was the chapter that ever person reading this book and every person in ministry wanted and wants to read in this kind of book. This chapter deals with how to actually administer and implement the family-based ministry within their churches. I liked what DeVries had to say in this chapter.
"...I am talking less about establishing specific programs and more about creating an ongoing ethos (what might be called a "new normal") in the ministry." (Pg 176)
"Family-based youth ministry is not, strictly speaking, a "model" but rather a foundation that every youth ministry needs to ensure its long-term impact." (Pg 176)
I think this is one of the beauties of the family-based ministry philosophy. The fact that it isn't a model in itself but a philosophy, allows the idea of allowing the entire family to be ministered to together. I love that since it isn't a model in and of itself, you can still use a specific model if you want to, and implement a family-based philosophy within it. I personally still think that the family-based might be the easiest and the most effective philosophy of the three presented within the Perspectives book that I mentioned and discussed earlier. However, I think that if you are wanting to reach the most Biblical and the most effective philosophy of the three, I believe that the family-based one is only the beginning. The family-equipping goes beyond what family-based begins and helps create opportunities for parents to catch the vision of, understand, accept, and fulfill their Biblical mandate to be the primary disciplers of their children.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Family-Based Youth Ministry Chapter 11
So we’re back in the book Family-Based Youth Ministry by Mark DeVries. The title of this chapter is “God Calling: Thinking Theologically About Youth Ministry”. I found myself really beginning to think through what I believe regarding families and the church as the extended family and the priority that each should have in a person’s life. The two quotes from DeVries that really stuck out to me were:
“As disciples of Christ, our ultimate goal (our “chief end”) is not limited to our own personal growth. That goal is much too small. The glory of God and our enjoyment of God come first for the Christian. Our own spiritual growth is a natural outgrowth of learning to glorify God” (Pg 163)
“…the nature of the life of discipleship involves a practical commitment to a specific community of faith.” (Pg 164)
As I was sitting here thinking about these two quotes from DeVries, I started to really think about if the priorities that I have been hearing all around me while growing up are truly biblical. How serious are we about the only thing that matters most in this life being a person’s relationship with Jesus? What if that began to interfere with a person’s relationship with his or her family? The point that I find myself wrestling with a lot right now, is just how important ministry is. I have been around the argument about where the church should be in relation to the family in the order of personal priorities, but what if you are hanging out with your family and a person calls you and needs to talk with you about something that is a major emergency? Granted there are usually varying circumstances that occur with situations like this, yet if this exact situation arose and that person needed to talk with you and needed your help to help disciple them and what not, how should we respond? If what we say that the most important thing in this life is what is going to be carried on to the next, then would the decision that we need to make not be to go help the person? I know a lot of people who would say that you need to take into consideration your family, and I would agree. However I believe that if you are raising your family so that they understand that you have been called by God to do this and that this is something that is affecting a person’s eternity, your family should join in with you in this. That might look something like having your family gather together and pray for you as you are gone meeting with the individual. I certainly do not know all the answers to life and questions like this, but I am trying to wrestle with these and figure out areas in my life that need to be reevaluated and turned over to God. What about you? Do you have any thoughts on the subject?
“As disciples of Christ, our ultimate goal (our “chief end”) is not limited to our own personal growth. That goal is much too small. The glory of God and our enjoyment of God come first for the Christian. Our own spiritual growth is a natural outgrowth of learning to glorify God” (Pg 163)
“…the nature of the life of discipleship involves a practical commitment to a specific community of faith.” (Pg 164)
As I was sitting here thinking about these two quotes from DeVries, I started to really think about if the priorities that I have been hearing all around me while growing up are truly biblical. How serious are we about the only thing that matters most in this life being a person’s relationship with Jesus? What if that began to interfere with a person’s relationship with his or her family? The point that I find myself wrestling with a lot right now, is just how important ministry is. I have been around the argument about where the church should be in relation to the family in the order of personal priorities, but what if you are hanging out with your family and a person calls you and needs to talk with you about something that is a major emergency? Granted there are usually varying circumstances that occur with situations like this, yet if this exact situation arose and that person needed to talk with you and needed your help to help disciple them and what not, how should we respond? If what we say that the most important thing in this life is what is going to be carried on to the next, then would the decision that we need to make not be to go help the person? I know a lot of people who would say that you need to take into consideration your family, and I would agree. However I believe that if you are raising your family so that they understand that you have been called by God to do this and that this is something that is affecting a person’s eternity, your family should join in with you in this. That might look something like having your family gather together and pray for you as you are gone meeting with the individual. I certainly do not know all the answers to life and questions like this, but I am trying to wrestle with these and figure out areas in my life that need to be reevaluated and turned over to God. What about you? Do you have any thoughts on the subject?
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Perspectives on Family Ministry - Chapter 10
I was looking forward to this chapter. In this chapter, the other two contributors and spokesmen of the other two family ministry models that were presented in this book, as in other chapters for the other models, had the opportunity to raise questions and hesitations about this model. As I was reading through some of these questions, I couldn't help but think, "I feel like these guys are making excuses." I'll give you an example. In the response from Paul Renfro, Paul brings up the question of how would this model deal with negligent parents. Now first of all, I could find myself asking Paul the same question about his model (family-integration), and his answer could probably answer his own question. If you look past all of the surface questions/concerns, no matter how important or valid they might seem, you can find a common problem. The problem is that most people today have the tendency to fall to the temptation to become lazy in their relationship with Jesus. I'm guilty too, believe me! There may be some who read what I just wrote and begin vehemently defending themselves, saying, "I am NOT lazy in my faith!!!" That's all fine and dandy, I'm not writing all of this to start an argument (or maybe I am because I need this wake-up call as badly as anyone), but I've heard time and time again from parents, students, children, and even ministers that their relationship with Jesus is the most important thing to them. Yet they cannot even take the time to read His words which we have conveniently collected in our Bibles. They cannot take the time nor the energy to practice the spiritual discipline of fasting, let alone any other ones (Jesus never said "if you fast..." but "when you fast..."). The point I'm trying to make, is that a lot of the questions these men are having in this discussion of what the ideal family-life ministry model is, does not matter unless we are asking God to change the hearts of the very people who we have in our congregations (both young AND old). One might come back and argue, "Well Pat, we can't get the youth changed until we know the best way to reach them! And that's where this model talk comes into play!" I can here it know and you know what? Maybe they're right. My only concern is that if we are not careful and we get caught up in arguments and discussions about what models work the best and what ones don't (which isn't necessarily all a bad thing), we lose focus of the main reason of why we are discussing it. Our own pride over defending our model against theirs begins to creep into the picture, and distract us from our mission. We are all on the same team. Doug Fields said it best in Purpose Driven Youth Ministry, there is no such thing as the perfect model! I've said all this to try to express something that I've been learning a lot recently. If we communicate to the parents, youth, and the entire congregation what is expected of them by God in life, the stage is set. We cannot make other people's decisions for them. We cannot change the person's heart to make them more passionate about their responsibilities and to stop being negligent. What we can do is lay out what God wants, challenge anyone and everyone to follow suit, and help those who 'fall victim' to a 'party' or 'individual' who doesn't care. If a person refuses to do the things that God instructs them to do, it is now an issue between that person and God. I feel like the prophet Haggai is a perfect illustration of this. He couldn't change the hearts of the men to start rebuilding the temple, instead he just relayed the message that God gave him to relay. And what happened? The ones that returned from captivity eventually did what God asked and were rewarded for it.
Perspectives on Family Ministry - Chapter 9
This chapter is titled "Family-Equipping Ministry: Church and home as Cochampions." To get a littler personal here at the forefront, this was the model that my group was assigned to research and look into for a project in this class. After researching it and looking at the other models, I would have to say that the family-equipping model is one of my top, if not the top, choices for family ministry models. One of the eye-opening statements that stuck out to me in this chapter was,
"The home has the greatest impact on young lives; with few exceptions, if we fail to impact the home, we will never make a lasting impact on students." (Pg 143)
This is exactly what I felt was lacking in the other two ministry models. The family-equipping model takes serious the fact that the home is a vital asset in raising children as disciples of Jesus. Better than that, according to God's Word, parents are to be the primary educators of their children. Anyone who approaches the issues within family ministry today logically, can see this in the current state of our families today. Think about it. Where do children/youth spend the majority of their time? Home. If you think that it's the church's responsibility to be the primary disciplers of your children, then your children should be living at the church and only visit the home 1-3 times during the week. I also like this model in the sense that adults are serious about their faith and are serious about wanting to take their God-given responsibility of raising their children seriously, they wouldn't make excuses about teaching their children. Some advocates for other models have argued that for busy families, this model puts too much pressure on the parents. In actuality, I would strongly disagree. Even if a parent is busy, if he/she is a good parent, he/she is going to spend time with his/her children. A parent could use this time, beginning at a young age, to teach his/her children what it means to be a disciple of Jesus, making it quality time, and instilling a sense of anticipation and excitement in the child as he/she looks forward to the next time that he/she gets to spend time with his/her parent(s). Another important observation that I would like to point out as well, is that this model is not "doing-away" with the church's youth ministry. In fact, in the title Jay Strother says that the church and the home are cochampions. The parents are not going to be 'left out to pasture' so to speak. The church is going to be there to help. The church in this model, similar to that of the family-based and family-integrated models, serves as an extended-family. The youth minister, youth leaders, and other families within the church will be able to provide for and assist parents if they ever were to run into an issue or a roadblock. It is this type of collaboration and working together in raising children that I feel exemplifies and really shines forth the unified body of Christ.
"The home has the greatest impact on young lives; with few exceptions, if we fail to impact the home, we will never make a lasting impact on students." (Pg 143)
This is exactly what I felt was lacking in the other two ministry models. The family-equipping model takes serious the fact that the home is a vital asset in raising children as disciples of Jesus. Better than that, according to God's Word, parents are to be the primary educators of their children. Anyone who approaches the issues within family ministry today logically, can see this in the current state of our families today. Think about it. Where do children/youth spend the majority of their time? Home. If you think that it's the church's responsibility to be the primary disciplers of your children, then your children should be living at the church and only visit the home 1-3 times during the week. I also like this model in the sense that adults are serious about their faith and are serious about wanting to take their God-given responsibility of raising their children seriously, they wouldn't make excuses about teaching their children. Some advocates for other models have argued that for busy families, this model puts too much pressure on the parents. In actuality, I would strongly disagree. Even if a parent is busy, if he/she is a good parent, he/she is going to spend time with his/her children. A parent could use this time, beginning at a young age, to teach his/her children what it means to be a disciple of Jesus, making it quality time, and instilling a sense of anticipation and excitement in the child as he/she looks forward to the next time that he/she gets to spend time with his/her parent(s). Another important observation that I would like to point out as well, is that this model is not "doing-away" with the church's youth ministry. In fact, in the title Jay Strother says that the church and the home are cochampions. The parents are not going to be 'left out to pasture' so to speak. The church is going to be there to help. The church in this model, similar to that of the family-based and family-integrated models, serves as an extended-family. The youth minister, youth leaders, and other families within the church will be able to provide for and assist parents if they ever were to run into an issue or a roadblock. It is this type of collaboration and working together in raising children that I feel exemplifies and really shines forth the unified body of Christ.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Perspectives on Family Ministry - Chapter 7
This chapter is titled "Family-Based Ministry: Separated Contexts, Shared Focus". This chapter was written by Brandon Shields about his model of family ministry that he uses at his church, family-based ministry. This model was originally pioneered by a guy named Mark DeVries (should sound familiar from the earlier blogs). The family-based ministry model looks a little like this.
"Family-based churches retain separate, age-segmented ministry structures. The difference between family-based models and typical programmatic models is that family-based churches intentionally include intergenerational and family-focused events in each ministry." (pg 100)
This is one of the three models that are presented in this book that I would claim being a fan of. I have seen this model used more and more in the many different churches that I have visited. The cool thing about this ministry model for churches today, is that it does not take as much work to implement this getting from the traditional programmatic model. By creating opportunities for families to be together at church opens the door for even more possibilities. You would still give the youth the chance to have their own place where they could come to and be with people their age and talk about things without their parents being there. Now though, you would have the chance to add to that with creating opportunities for families to be together at church, reenforcing the idea that being a family and growing in your faith are important and go hand in hand.
"Family-based churches retain separate, age-segmented ministry structures. The difference between family-based models and typical programmatic models is that family-based churches intentionally include intergenerational and family-focused events in each ministry." (pg 100)
This is one of the three models that are presented in this book that I would claim being a fan of. I have seen this model used more and more in the many different churches that I have visited. The cool thing about this ministry model for churches today, is that it does not take as much work to implement this getting from the traditional programmatic model. By creating opportunities for families to be together at church opens the door for even more possibilities. You would still give the youth the chance to have their own place where they could come to and be with people their age and talk about things without their parents being there. Now though, you would have the chance to add to that with creating opportunities for families to be together at church, reenforcing the idea that being a family and growing in your faith are important and go hand in hand.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Perspectives on Family Ministry - Chapter 6
The title of this chapter is 'Responses to Paul Renfro'. This is one thing that I really like about this book. Each supporter of a family ministry model has the opportunity to respond and voice their opinions and concerns about the other's proposed model of family ministry. This chapter posed a VERY interesting conversation between the three, in which I became immensely engaged in. I must say that of the two responses, I felt that Jay Strother's response was much more 'respectful' in the sense that he encouraged Paul Renfro and lovingly brought up some reservations and genuine questions that he had about the family-integrated model. Brandon Shields' response seemed a little more offensive and almost as if he were attacking Paul and his ministry model preference. There was one thing that Paul said in his response to the other two that I didn't agree with 100%.
"Yet age-segregated structures that remain in place in family-based and family-equipping churches make family reformation more difficult by tacitly reinforcing the false notion that professional ministers are the people primarily responsible for children's discipleship." (Pg 96)
I just completed a group project on these models, where my group was responsible for teaching and evaluating the family-equipping model. Through my research and studying, the family-equipping model doesn't promote the 'false notion that professional ministers are the people primarily responsible for children's discipleship' at all. In fact, the model actually provides resources and 'equips' (hence the name) the family, so that they will be able to do their job as the people primarily responsible for children's discipleship. I think that there is a bigger chance that in the family-equipping and family-based models that the focus can be shifted back to the church again, however if done correctly, the people who are primarily responsible for children's discipleship are the parents and the family. The church in these models, serves and supports as an extended family, offering to help wherever the parents/family need.
"Yet age-segregated structures that remain in place in family-based and family-equipping churches make family reformation more difficult by tacitly reinforcing the false notion that professional ministers are the people primarily responsible for children's discipleship." (Pg 96)
I just completed a group project on these models, where my group was responsible for teaching and evaluating the family-equipping model. Through my research and studying, the family-equipping model doesn't promote the 'false notion that professional ministers are the people primarily responsible for children's discipleship' at all. In fact, the model actually provides resources and 'equips' (hence the name) the family, so that they will be able to do their job as the people primarily responsible for children's discipleship. I think that there is a bigger chance that in the family-equipping and family-based models that the focus can be shifted back to the church again, however if done correctly, the people who are primarily responsible for children's discipleship are the parents and the family. The church in these models, serves and supports as an extended family, offering to help wherever the parents/family need.
Perspectives on Family Ministry - Chapter 5
The title of this chapter is 'Family-Integrated Ministry'. In this chapter, Paul Renfro, the discipleship minister at Grace Family Baptist Church in Austin, Texas describes and teaches about this model of family ministry. I have to admit, when I was first doing research and studying the three models of ministry (1 - Family-Integrated; 2 - Family-Based; and 3 - Family-Equipping), I thought the least about Family-Integrated, primarily because this model calls for the dissolving of age-segregated ministries. In a Family-Integrated church, the entire family does everything together. I personally saw (and still see) some issues with this model, but to quote one of my textbooks from Intro to Youth Ministry, the 'perfect' model is a myth (Purpose Driven Youth Ministry). However, I do see more positives now than I did before. This model places a HUGE emphasis on the primary 'discipler' being the family, more specifically the father. Renfro also explored the problems and issues that churches would have to overcome if they were going to implement this family-integrated model and brought up this interesting thought.
"In some cases a young person is so tightly connected to a youth group that he or she is more committed to that youth group than their own family." (Pg 74)
I must confess that I was guilty of this at times when I was younger. In fact there were times when I would miss meals and outings with my family in order to go to church and 'hang out' or work. Now, when I look back, I sincerely regret those times. Sure it was fun to hang out with other people my age and to work at the church and see my work count for and go toward something that was ministry related, but today I can honestly say that I wish I had spent more time, and had more time now where I could be with my family. That is one thing that see that this model of ministry truly helps to promote and make happen. Of course a majority of this model assumes a lot about the family, particularly the parents, being Christians and involved in the church. One of my questions regarding this model, would be how would this model address that situation, where there is a youth who is a Christian but his/her family/parents are not.
"In some cases a young person is so tightly connected to a youth group that he or she is more committed to that youth group than their own family." (Pg 74)
I must confess that I was guilty of this at times when I was younger. In fact there were times when I would miss meals and outings with my family in order to go to church and 'hang out' or work. Now, when I look back, I sincerely regret those times. Sure it was fun to hang out with other people my age and to work at the church and see my work count for and go toward something that was ministry related, but today I can honestly say that I wish I had spent more time, and had more time now where I could be with my family. That is one thing that see that this model of ministry truly helps to promote and make happen. Of course a majority of this model assumes a lot about the family, particularly the parents, being Christians and involved in the church. One of my questions regarding this model, would be how would this model address that situation, where there is a youth who is a Christian but his/her family/parents are not.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Perspectives on Family Ministry - Chapter 4
This chapter is titled "Foundations for Family Ministry". Jones basically laid out the framework for why this book was written. He also gave a general overview of the three family-ministry models that this book explores. The three models are:
1) Family-Integrated Ministry
2) Family-Based Ministry
3) Family-Equipping Ministry
Of these three models, I would have to say that I personally am leaning more toward the 'Family-Equipping' model, possibly even the 'Family-Based' model. Fortunately the 'Family-Equipping' model is between the other two models, and has some overlap. The reason that I would have to align myself as a proponent and supporter for 'Family-Equipping' as of right now, is because I am a big fan of the results that it could have. You would not have to get rid of every youth program that you have to do it either. In fact, I love the idea of preparing lessons for youth and also preparing packets for parents that come complete with extra resources (such as websites, books, CD's, DVD's, etc.) that you can give to them so that they can have extra help and be extra prepared in ministering their children. I am sure that there are aspects of each model that I do not fully understand as of yet, and so my opinion and preference may indeed change by the end of this book. But for now, I am a big fan of the 'Family-Equipping Ministry' model.
1) Family-Integrated Ministry
2) Family-Based Ministry
3) Family-Equipping Ministry
Of these three models, I would have to say that I personally am leaning more toward the 'Family-Equipping' model, possibly even the 'Family-Based' model. Fortunately the 'Family-Equipping' model is between the other two models, and has some overlap. The reason that I would have to align myself as a proponent and supporter for 'Family-Equipping' as of right now, is because I am a big fan of the results that it could have. You would not have to get rid of every youth program that you have to do it either. In fact, I love the idea of preparing lessons for youth and also preparing packets for parents that come complete with extra resources (such as websites, books, CD's, DVD's, etc.) that you can give to them so that they can have extra help and be extra prepared in ministering their children. I am sure that there are aspects of each model that I do not fully understand as of yet, and so my opinion and preference may indeed change by the end of this book. But for now, I am a big fan of the 'Family-Equipping Ministry' model.
Perspectives on Family Ministry - Chapter 3
The title of this chapter is "Historical Contexts for Family Ministry". In this chapter, Jones wadded through and touched on the biggest developments throughout history within ministry, that have brought us all to where we are in ministry today. It was very interesting to see how our modern ministry model of the one-eared Mickey Mouse came about from a well-intentioned move to address a generation that was moving away and differentiating itself from the traditional model of ministry of the day.
"... It's a Nickelodeon approach to youth ministry that seeks to appeal to kids' propensity for fun and recreation... Like parents who pop in a video to entertain the kids when relatives arrive, the idea is to keep the young people from running out, to keep them in the general vicinity of the church, to keep them happy until they're mature enough to joint he congregation." (Pg 34)
Today's model of youth ministry is a "glorified nursery". I find it interesting, that the last part of this quote states that their intentions were to keep them around until they became more mature and could handle the 'real' ministry. My response to those who thought of this would be something like, "OK, it's a good THOUGHT, but have you considered the fact that if there isn't any effort to help disciple and develop these youth, then they may never BE mature?" I believe that the church should never use this excuse or reasoning, and instead be proactive about reaching and training students to become disciples instead of 'sitting the bench' of their faith.
"... It's a Nickelodeon approach to youth ministry that seeks to appeal to kids' propensity for fun and recreation... Like parents who pop in a video to entertain the kids when relatives arrive, the idea is to keep the young people from running out, to keep them in the general vicinity of the church, to keep them happy until they're mature enough to joint he congregation." (Pg 34)
Today's model of youth ministry is a "glorified nursery". I find it interesting, that the last part of this quote states that their intentions were to keep them around until they became more mature and could handle the 'real' ministry. My response to those who thought of this would be something like, "OK, it's a good THOUGHT, but have you considered the fact that if there isn't any effort to help disciple and develop these youth, then they may never BE mature?" I believe that the church should never use this excuse or reasoning, and instead be proactive about reaching and training students to become disciples instead of 'sitting the bench' of their faith.
Perspectives on Family Ministry - Chapter 2
This chapter was titled "The Task Too Significant to Hire Someone Else to Do". Jones' point in this chapter was to explore the history of the Church and the Scriptures to figure out what the Biblically and traditional way of child discipleship was. He found that the responsibility to disciple a child is not supposed to fall upon the church and age specific ministers, but rather on the child's parents, often times specifically the father with help from the mother. There was a quote from Jonathan Edwards that really stuck out to me and got me thinking.
"Every Christian family ought to be as it were a little church, consecrated to Christ, and wholly influenced and governed by His rules. And family education and order are some of the chief means of grace. If these fail, all other means are likely to prove ineffectual." (Pg 22)
This started me thinking about what kind of job I am going to do as a father one day. I certainly want to be a father one day, and being that I am studying youth and family ministry here, I have learned many things as to how to minister to youth. But the question that popped into my head, is how is it going to be when I am faced with the opportunity and responsibility to minister to and my own youth. To be completely honest, it makes me a little nervous. But as I sit here and read about the importance and the intention of the family being the primary place for a child to grow and develop spiritually, I cannot help but feel a small, but growing sense of excitement. I believe that I have this excitement because it is something that God instills in us, to live the way He designed for us to, and to be. I believe that this is what we need to be instilling in today's families. They will not experience this kind of excitement unless they grab ahold of their responsibilities to disciple their children. They will not grab ahold of their responsibilities to disciple their children, unless they realize that it is their responsibility. What we need to do, is to help them see, that this is their responsibility.
"Every Christian family ought to be as it were a little church, consecrated to Christ, and wholly influenced and governed by His rules. And family education and order are some of the chief means of grace. If these fail, all other means are likely to prove ineffectual." (Pg 22)
This started me thinking about what kind of job I am going to do as a father one day. I certainly want to be a father one day, and being that I am studying youth and family ministry here, I have learned many things as to how to minister to youth. But the question that popped into my head, is how is it going to be when I am faced with the opportunity and responsibility to minister to and my own youth. To be completely honest, it makes me a little nervous. But as I sit here and read about the importance and the intention of the family being the primary place for a child to grow and develop spiritually, I cannot help but feel a small, but growing sense of excitement. I believe that I have this excitement because it is something that God instills in us, to live the way He designed for us to, and to be. I believe that this is what we need to be instilling in today's families. They will not experience this kind of excitement unless they grab ahold of their responsibilities to disciple their children. They will not grab ahold of their responsibilities to disciple their children, unless they realize that it is their responsibility. What we need to do, is to help them see, that this is their responsibility.
Perspectives on Family Ministry - Chapter 1
So, we're switching gears here for a little bit. We're taking a break from Family-Based Youth Ministry to take a peak at another one of our textbooks, Perspectives on Family Ministry edited by Timothy Paul Jones. The title of chapter 1 is "Confessions of a well-meaning youth minister". I have to say that I thought hearing part of his story in this chapter, proved to be beneficial for his development of the concept of family ministry. Jones served as a preaching minister before taking on a youth minister position. After spending some time in this new role, dealing with the stresses, and dealing with the frustrations, Jones arrived at a crucial thought. This thought was that the current model of youth ministry, segregation from the rest of the church, is hurting and hindering the potential of youth ministry in a church. I really thought his words on this were very insightful.
"The ministry models that many ministers have studied in seminaries and inherited in local churches are fundamentally flawed." (Pg 13)
If this is true, the church of today needs to be awakened to this. If the models that we as the church are attempting to use truly are fundamentally flawed, there needs to be a reevaluation of how we are going to minister to youth. The youth generation are crucially important if the church is going to be successful in raising up and producing mature Christians.
"The ministry models that many ministers have studied in seminaries and inherited in local churches are fundamentally flawed." (Pg 13)
If this is true, the church of today needs to be awakened to this. If the models that we as the church are attempting to use truly are fundamentally flawed, there needs to be a reevaluation of how we are going to minister to youth. The youth generation are crucially important if the church is going to be successful in raising up and producing mature Christians.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Family-Based Youth Ministry Chapter 10
This chapter is titled A Different Gospel. In this chapter, DeVries talks about the current of youth culture and of the traditional form of youth ministry that follow a "different" gospel than the one that we are to follow as Christians. He opened up with a brilliant illustration as to this current of culture, comparing it to the currents in the ocean. When you are out playing in the ocean, it is very easy to be swept hundreds of yards down the coastline without you even noticing because of the ocean's currents. He uses this illustration as a way of explaining how many today fall susceptible to following a different gospel without even realizing it.
"If we place success over faithfulness, we will inevitably choose image over substance, in danger of becoming ecclesiastical public relations directors rather than ministers of the gospel." (pg 154)
Here DeVries is referring to the current of the youth culture rushing toward image and self individualization. His point here is that we as youth ministers should not give into the idea that we are to be "successful" according to the world's terms. Instead we need to be faithful to the responsibility that God has entrusted us with. If we do not, we simply become another self-help stop in the lives of youth, where they can come and go as they please. I feel like this is a big deal for many youth ministries today. It is so easy to get caught up in the idea that we have to be "successful" according to the world's terms because of the constant bombardment of phone calls and complaints from parents and/or other church members, asking why so-and-so does not enjoy youth group and what we are going to do to change that. I love what DeVries says, and I will leave as a response to this and as an ending.
"Young people do not need our help in learning how to handle success. They need training in living with failure." (pg 154)
Failure according to the world, is not failure to God. You must take risks to grow. This is what we need to be helping our youth of today to realize and embrace.
"If we place success over faithfulness, we will inevitably choose image over substance, in danger of becoming ecclesiastical public relations directors rather than ministers of the gospel." (pg 154)
Here DeVries is referring to the current of the youth culture rushing toward image and self individualization. His point here is that we as youth ministers should not give into the idea that we are to be "successful" according to the world's terms. Instead we need to be faithful to the responsibility that God has entrusted us with. If we do not, we simply become another self-help stop in the lives of youth, where they can come and go as they please. I feel like this is a big deal for many youth ministries today. It is so easy to get caught up in the idea that we have to be "successful" according to the world's terms because of the constant bombardment of phone calls and complaints from parents and/or other church members, asking why so-and-so does not enjoy youth group and what we are going to do to change that. I love what DeVries says, and I will leave as a response to this and as an ending.
"Young people do not need our help in learning how to handle success. They need training in living with failure." (pg 154)
Failure according to the world, is not failure to God. You must take risks to grow. This is what we need to be helping our youth of today to realize and embrace.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Family-Based Youth Ministry Chapter 9
This chapter was titled Walking the Tightrope. In this chapter, DeVries explained the trick to Family-Based Youth Ministry. In order to have a truly successful youth ministry, you have to be able to balance continuity and individualization. If a ministry tips too far in one of these directions or the other, then the ministry will not be very successful. Since DeVries has focused so much upon the continuity of a youth ministry and it being tied in with the rest of the church, he focused a little more on the individualizing side.
"Jesus taught his disciples less often by giving them answers that they could memorize and more often by raising questions they couldn't answer, questions that would engage them more deeply in the pursuit of God." (pg 139)
I absolutely loved this point that DeVries made in this chapter. One of the biggest things that I think many youth leaders today neglect, is giving opportunities for students to think critically for themselves and allow them to try to work out answers to questions themselves. I've personally been trying this approach with the 7th grade boys small group that I am a leader in at a church that I volunteer at. This past week a couple of the students got into a big discussion, where I just threw in an idea, sat back, and let them take over in discussing it. By the end of the group time, they were turning to me saying that this was one of the most interesting and beneficial small group sessions that they had been in. I agree with what DeVries is saying about there being an importance and a place for both continuity with the rest of the church and individualization from the rest of the church. The process of finding this healthy balance between the two is truly a tightrope-walking act.
"Jesus taught his disciples less often by giving them answers that they could memorize and more often by raising questions they couldn't answer, questions that would engage them more deeply in the pursuit of God." (pg 139)
I absolutely loved this point that DeVries made in this chapter. One of the biggest things that I think many youth leaders today neglect, is giving opportunities for students to think critically for themselves and allow them to try to work out answers to questions themselves. I've personally been trying this approach with the 7th grade boys small group that I am a leader in at a church that I volunteer at. This past week a couple of the students got into a big discussion, where I just threw in an idea, sat back, and let them take over in discussing it. By the end of the group time, they were turning to me saying that this was one of the most interesting and beneficial small group sessions that they had been in. I agree with what DeVries is saying about there being an importance and a place for both continuity with the rest of the church and individualization from the rest of the church. The process of finding this healthy balance between the two is truly a tightrope-walking act.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Family-Based Youth Ministry Chapter 8
This chapter is called Beyond the Cleavers. In this chapter, DeVries addresses the growing phenomena of nontraditional families, and the challenge that we as youth workers have in ministering to youth coming from these families. Now when you sit down and think about this growing phenomena of the rising number of youth coming from nontraditional families, one might say/think that the answer is to begin creating specific programming that is geared toward and targets these youth. DeVries would disagree with that, and after reading this chapter, meditating on it for a little bit, and then connecting it with his previous chapters, I think that I would have to say that I agree.
"The most effective strategy for reaching these young people is to provide a consistent personal ministry to each teenager who is a member of the church whether or not he or she ever attends." (pg 127)
"As a general rule, programming will not be the key to reaching these youth. Relationships much be built in which their unique situation is understood and taken seriously." (pg 127)
DeVries points on the fact that the solution is not within the programs that you create, but rather within the relationships that are built. In his previous chapter he talked about creating relationships within members of the congregation and members of the youth group in order to provide an "extended family" for the youth and their families. It is these relationships and bonds that are going to impact the youth of nontraditional families. For example, Mike is a teenage boy who does not know his father extremely well because Mike's father left him and his mom when he was only 2 years old. Mike's mother has done the best job that she could raising him to this point, yet no matter how hard she tries, she will never be able to fill the void within Mike that is left from a broken/nonexistent relationship with his father. Within the extended family of the church, there is a man named Charlie who is in his late 40's. Charlie met Mike one day in youth group, and the two have had a strong/deep bond ever since. Charlie does whatever he can for Mike, including going to Mike's high school football games, inviting him and the other 11th graders over for Halo parties on Friday nights after football season, and even hosts a Bible study that Mike attends every Monday night. That void in Mike's life is growing less and less prevalent, due to the mentoring and discipleship of Charlie. This idea of providing youth programming that is for everyone, that also allows the rest of the church family to be involved, is what most effectively ministers to growing number of youth coming from nontraditional families.
"The most effective strategy for reaching these young people is to provide a consistent personal ministry to each teenager who is a member of the church whether or not he or she ever attends." (pg 127)
"As a general rule, programming will not be the key to reaching these youth. Relationships much be built in which their unique situation is understood and taken seriously." (pg 127)
DeVries points on the fact that the solution is not within the programs that you create, but rather within the relationships that are built. In his previous chapter he talked about creating relationships within members of the congregation and members of the youth group in order to provide an "extended family" for the youth and their families. It is these relationships and bonds that are going to impact the youth of nontraditional families. For example, Mike is a teenage boy who does not know his father extremely well because Mike's father left him and his mom when he was only 2 years old. Mike's mother has done the best job that she could raising him to this point, yet no matter how hard she tries, she will never be able to fill the void within Mike that is left from a broken/nonexistent relationship with his father. Within the extended family of the church, there is a man named Charlie who is in his late 40's. Charlie met Mike one day in youth group, and the two have had a strong/deep bond ever since. Charlie does whatever he can for Mike, including going to Mike's high school football games, inviting him and the other 11th graders over for Halo parties on Friday nights after football season, and even hosts a Bible study that Mike attends every Monday night. That void in Mike's life is growing less and less prevalent, due to the mentoring and discipleship of Charlie. This idea of providing youth programming that is for everyone, that also allows the rest of the church family to be involved, is what most effectively ministers to growing number of youth coming from nontraditional families.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Family-Based Youth Ministry Chapter 7
The title of this chapter is "It Only Makes Sense." In this chapter, DeVries lays down the importance of why family-based ministry needs to be the foundational characteristic of how youth ministry is done today.
"The secret is not what the program looks like, but what is strategically built beneath that program." (pg 101)
In this chapter, DeVries shares with us the stories of different experiences that he has had within youth ministry, and the results of his attempts at implementing some of these family-based strategies. I particularly enjoyed his breakdown of the different types of ministry models that today's youth ministries fit in, as well as the different types of parents that exist today. After reading this chapter, I believe that I understand and agree with what DeVries is saying here. Research has been done that continually proves that a youth's faith sticks whenever the parents are involved in the maturation process of the youth in his/her faith. It is up to parents to be the primary role models and supporters of a child and his/her journey in discovering who Jesus is and building a faith relationship with Him. It is the church's (not just the youth ministry's) job to provide an extended family role to the family, to supplement and encourage the role/job that the parents are doing. I wonder what would happen if more churches today realized the importance of taking this stance and supporting families, holding them as the primary leaders in faith development of their children. I would venture to say that the next generation that is raised would be a generation that is vastly more mature in their faith than previous generations. It is simply astonishing to me that to reach this dream/goal, the church needs only to discover a way to help parents rediscover their primary role, and also become an active part of the youth ministry within the church.
"The secret is not what the program looks like, but what is strategically built beneath that program." (pg 101)
In this chapter, DeVries shares with us the stories of different experiences that he has had within youth ministry, and the results of his attempts at implementing some of these family-based strategies. I particularly enjoyed his breakdown of the different types of ministry models that today's youth ministries fit in, as well as the different types of parents that exist today. After reading this chapter, I believe that I understand and agree with what DeVries is saying here. Research has been done that continually proves that a youth's faith sticks whenever the parents are involved in the maturation process of the youth in his/her faith. It is up to parents to be the primary role models and supporters of a child and his/her journey in discovering who Jesus is and building a faith relationship with Him. It is the church's (not just the youth ministry's) job to provide an extended family role to the family, to supplement and encourage the role/job that the parents are doing. I wonder what would happen if more churches today realized the importance of taking this stance and supporting families, holding them as the primary leaders in faith development of their children. I would venture to say that the next generation that is raised would be a generation that is vastly more mature in their faith than previous generations. It is simply astonishing to me that to reach this dream/goal, the church needs only to discover a way to help parents rediscover their primary role, and also become an active part of the youth ministry within the church.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Family-Based Youth Ministry Chapter 6
The title of this chapter is "Stacking the Stands." I absolutely LOVED this chapter!!! (I've really loved the entire book, but this chapter gave me more clarity to a vision that I've been developing.) In this chapter, DeVries took the first few verses of Hebrews 12, and applied it to what we need to do to help our youth today when ministering to them. Statistics show that when there is an extended family involved in the faith maturation and development of a youth, there is increased success. He continues to tie in the fact that when you use the term "extended family" in relation to growing to a mature faith, it doesn't necessarily mean that you are talking about your relatives. The church is the body of Christ and the members of this body are brothers and sisters. Taking this image and applying it to the faith maturation through the lens of Hebrews 12, DeVries paints the picture from which he titled this chapter. Every student needs to have their "stands" full of supporters and "witnesses" if he/she is to develop longevity in his/her faith. These "fans/supporters/witnesses" are brought in through interaction between youth and mature Christian adults.
"... in the long run, the teenagers in our churches will be affected by significant experiences with adults much more than by the mountaintop youth-group experiences that we spend so much energy creating." (pg 90)
Successful family-based youth ministry, in fact successful youth ministry in general is determined by the relationships between the youth and the mature Christian adults within the body of Christ. Once these relationships develop, they mean something and they last. One of the ideas that came to mind as I was reading (and DeVries touched on later in the chapter), was the development of discipleship relationships. Planning meetings where adults and youth can sit down and just talk about anything that they want. Later these evolve into something even deeper, where youth and adults serve alongside each other, doing service projects or simply praying for people. These types of experiences leave lasting impressions on youth as they are developing physically, emotionally, and spiritually. As DeVries mentioned in the quote above, these memories and relationships have more impact and last A LOT longer than any kind of cool program that we can entertain the youth with for one hour each week.
"... in the long run, the teenagers in our churches will be affected by significant experiences with adults much more than by the mountaintop youth-group experiences that we spend so much energy creating." (pg 90)
Successful family-based youth ministry, in fact successful youth ministry in general is determined by the relationships between the youth and the mature Christian adults within the body of Christ. Once these relationships develop, they mean something and they last. One of the ideas that came to mind as I was reading (and DeVries touched on later in the chapter), was the development of discipleship relationships. Planning meetings where adults and youth can sit down and just talk about anything that they want. Later these evolve into something even deeper, where youth and adults serve alongside each other, doing service projects or simply praying for people. These types of experiences leave lasting impressions on youth as they are developing physically, emotionally, and spiritually. As DeVries mentioned in the quote above, these memories and relationships have more impact and last A LOT longer than any kind of cool program that we can entertain the youth with for one hour each week.
Family-Based Youth Ministry Chapter 5
This chapter was titled "The Critical Care Unit." In this chapter DeVries exposed and addressed a critical weakness that youth workers today overlook rather easily. Many youth ministers and youth workers can grow very frustrated at times whenever he/she is working with youth. For me, it can happen a lot (even so when I work with college students here at school). I've often thought to myself, "Why can't they just understand that growing mature in their faith is VITAL to honoring God with your life and living a successful Christian life?"(Disclaimer: My definition of 'successful' might be different from yours.) I never understood why I couldn't get through to them like I want and help them to grasp hold of the concept. Then I read what DeVries had to say.
"According to the 1990 Search Institute report, only 15 percent of men between the ages of forty and fifty-nine have a mature, integrated faith. Stated another way, it is likely that 85 percent of our young people come from homes without a father to set an example of faithful discipleship." (pg 73)
The largest obstacle that we are facing today, is that many of our youth do not have parents who are mature in their own faith. It's amazing to me the affect that a parent's attitude toward their faith can have upon their children. So what now? Based upon the statistics from the research, I'd say that the church has a new mission in its ministry to youth, and it's exactly what the title of this book is, family-based youth ministry. What the church was able to put on training classes or Sunday-school classes where parents were taught how to mature their own faith and pass that desire on to their children? What if the youth ministry handed out topics of the week that the youth will be covering in youth group time, so that the family as a whole can discuss it at home together? An idea that a close friend and I have that has turned into a dream is to plant a church somewhere where the need is great for one, that does just this. Our dream is to see a church where every ministry is related and involved with the others. No ministry is off doing its own thing. We could sit down and plan congregation-wide themes for series, allowing for the whole family to be growing in the same areas at the same time. This is just the surface of some of the ideas that we have had to taking this idea of "family-based youth ministry" and applying to something that I might call "family-based church ministry."
"According to the 1990 Search Institute report, only 15 percent of men between the ages of forty and fifty-nine have a mature, integrated faith. Stated another way, it is likely that 85 percent of our young people come from homes without a father to set an example of faithful discipleship." (pg 73)
The largest obstacle that we are facing today, is that many of our youth do not have parents who are mature in their own faith. It's amazing to me the affect that a parent's attitude toward their faith can have upon their children. So what now? Based upon the statistics from the research, I'd say that the church has a new mission in its ministry to youth, and it's exactly what the title of this book is, family-based youth ministry. What the church was able to put on training classes or Sunday-school classes where parents were taught how to mature their own faith and pass that desire on to their children? What if the youth ministry handed out topics of the week that the youth will be covering in youth group time, so that the family as a whole can discuss it at home together? An idea that a close friend and I have that has turned into a dream is to plant a church somewhere where the need is great for one, that does just this. Our dream is to see a church where every ministry is related and involved with the others. No ministry is off doing its own thing. We could sit down and plan congregation-wide themes for series, allowing for the whole family to be growing in the same areas at the same time. This is just the surface of some of the ideas that we have had to taking this idea of "family-based youth ministry" and applying to something that I might call "family-based church ministry."
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Family-Based Youth Ministry Chapter 4
This chapter was entitled Sitting on a Gold Mine. In this chapter, DeVries discussed the role of parents and the gold mine that they are when it comes to ministering to youth. DeVries says:
"Research now shows that parents who simply talk about faith in the home and who involve their children in serving alongside them can actually double and sometimes triple their children's chances of living out their faith as adults." (pg 63)
With this knowledge, youth ministries everywhere should be striving to figure out ways in which to incorporate entire families within their ministry. One way that I truly believe is a great way to begin getting parents involved, is to supply them with ideas and resources to work with their kids in their faith. This may look like conversation starter questions that will kindle up some kind of personal discussion within the family over dinner. One of the ministry practices that I grew up participating in during my high school years with my church, was an event every so often that we called Pinedale Impact. What this was, was a time when members of the church would forego Sunday night service and would instead meet up to go out and serve the community. During this ministry I had the opportunity to join with my parents and go to an assisted living home and play some hymns for a time of praise and worship with the residents there. I can honestly say that I look back on that experience with GREAT fondness and wish that I could have the opportunity to do that yet again sometime. I agree wholeheartedly with DeVries when he says that parents are a gold mine that youth ministries are unaware of as they slowly kill themselves. It is something that I want to see changed and be a catalyst in creating a culture within youth ministry where parental involvement is incorporated healthily in every manner possible.
"Research now shows that parents who simply talk about faith in the home and who involve their children in serving alongside them can actually double and sometimes triple their children's chances of living out their faith as adults." (pg 63)
With this knowledge, youth ministries everywhere should be striving to figure out ways in which to incorporate entire families within their ministry. One way that I truly believe is a great way to begin getting parents involved, is to supply them with ideas and resources to work with their kids in their faith. This may look like conversation starter questions that will kindle up some kind of personal discussion within the family over dinner. One of the ministry practices that I grew up participating in during my high school years with my church, was an event every so often that we called Pinedale Impact. What this was, was a time when members of the church would forego Sunday night service and would instead meet up to go out and serve the community. During this ministry I had the opportunity to join with my parents and go to an assisted living home and play some hymns for a time of praise and worship with the residents there. I can honestly say that I look back on that experience with GREAT fondness and wish that I could have the opportunity to do that yet again sometime. I agree wholeheartedly with DeVries when he says that parents are a gold mine that youth ministries are unaware of as they slowly kill themselves. It is something that I want to see changed and be a catalyst in creating a culture within youth ministry where parental involvement is incorporated healthily in every manner possible.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Family-Based Youth Ministry Chapter 3
Chapter 3 is entitled "The Developmental Disaster." In this chapter, DeVries talks about how this generation of youth have changed in the way that they learn and develop. One of the biggest changes is the fact that unlike previous generations, this generation learns and takes in by images and not so much as words. This change is certainly one that is vital to keep in mind when one is ministering to youth. One of the causes of this change, is the limited interaction that youth have with the older, more mature generations. DeVries says,
"Students are ready to tell you how they feel about an issue, but they have never learned how to construct a rational argument to defend their opinions." (pg 51)
I believe that the biggest need of youth from youth workers today, is the very thing that we struggle with. We need to find a way to help them learn how to construct rational arguments and discover the transitional changes that they need to go encounter and go through in order to become the mature adult that we are wanting them to become.
"Students are ready to tell you how they feel about an issue, but they have never learned how to construct a rational argument to defend their opinions." (pg 51)
I believe that the biggest need of youth from youth workers today, is the very thing that we struggle with. We need to find a way to help them learn how to construct rational arguments and discover the transitional changes that they need to go encounter and go through in order to become the mature adult that we are wanting them to become.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Family-Based Youth Ministry Chapter 2
The title of this chapter is Is Anybody Out There?: The Growth of Teenage Isolation. This chapter struck me in a funny way. DeVries addresses the crises that he sees as the major contributing factor to why youth aren't becoming the mature Christian adults that we all want them to become. This crisis, is the isolating of the youth from the rest of the church. The image of this that he uses is the "one-eared mickey mouse." The circle that represents the head, is the church. The circle that represents the ear, is the youth group. There is little interaction between the two. DeVries sees this as a crucial mistake of the churches today. It seems as if the church is copying what the current culture is doing. In schools, neighborhoods, social activities, and even families, youth are becoming isolated from adult figures. DeVries concludes this about this isolation trend.
"The obvious limitation of a co-figurative culture, or what Robert Bly calls a 'sibling society,' is that each generation has to relearn (and often incorrectly) a value system that can give them coherence and meaning." (p 37)
When I talk to youth ministers today, often times I hear about their plans to create a new youth service for Sunday mornings, as an alternative to the traditional worship service which they are currently attending. They motivation for this change, is to increase more interest in the youth group and draw in more young individuals from the local schools and community. This is where I am torn. I understand what DeVries is getting at and the importance of having the youth interact with older generations and all, yet I also think that there is value in gearing services in such a way to attract youth in and preach the gospel to them. I'm caught in a predicament on this. What I wonder, is if there is a way in which you can do both. One option that I personally have been wrestling with, is the idea of having the opportunity for the Sunday morning youth service, while either on Sunday night or Wednesday night providing elective classes where youth and adults can attend together, and allow the other night (either Sunday or Wednesday) to be reserved for small groups. This is just a BASIC idea that I'll probably end up thinking through and fleshing out, but what do you think? Is there a way (maybe not even the one I presented) that an arrangement could be reached so that youth could have their own service, yet still have the opportunity to be with adults and learn from that experience? Or would this split the strengths of the church and turn "doing one thing REALLY well" to "doing multiple things MEDIOCRE?"
"The obvious limitation of a co-figurative culture, or what Robert Bly calls a 'sibling society,' is that each generation has to relearn (and often incorrectly) a value system that can give them coherence and meaning." (p 37)
When I talk to youth ministers today, often times I hear about their plans to create a new youth service for Sunday mornings, as an alternative to the traditional worship service which they are currently attending. They motivation for this change, is to increase more interest in the youth group and draw in more young individuals from the local schools and community. This is where I am torn. I understand what DeVries is getting at and the importance of having the youth interact with older generations and all, yet I also think that there is value in gearing services in such a way to attract youth in and preach the gospel to them. I'm caught in a predicament on this. What I wonder, is if there is a way in which you can do both. One option that I personally have been wrestling with, is the idea of having the opportunity for the Sunday morning youth service, while either on Sunday night or Wednesday night providing elective classes where youth and adults can attend together, and allow the other night (either Sunday or Wednesday) to be reserved for small groups. This is just a BASIC idea that I'll probably end up thinking through and fleshing out, but what do you think? Is there a way (maybe not even the one I presented) that an arrangement could be reached so that youth could have their own service, yet still have the opportunity to be with adults and learn from that experience? Or would this split the strengths of the church and turn "doing one thing REALLY well" to "doing multiple things MEDIOCRE?"
Family-Based Youth Ministry Chapter 1
So, I'm switching gears now, and I'm now going to be focusing on Mark DeVries book Family-Based Youth Ministry. Chapter one is entitled Something's Wrong: The Crisis in Traditional Youth Ministry. This chapter was packed full of really interesting stuff, and I already highly recommend this book for any person who is interested or involved in ministering to youth. There is one thing specifically that I want to pull out and share with you from this chapter. DeVries says that what the church wants (and needs), is mature Christian adults. To have mature Christian adults, you have to develop and mentor Christian youth, helping them to mature. DeVires unpacked this a little and then said something that I can honestly (and ashamedly) say that I have never thought about.
"But keeping teenagers from ever being bored in their faith deprives them of the opportunity to develop the discipline and perseverance they need to live the Christian life." (p 27)
"Mature Christian adults, then, are those people who no longer depend on whistles and bells to motivate them to live out their faith." (p 28)
This is HUGE!!! I've always heard from youth around me growing up, "Man, I don't want to go to youth group tonight. It's SOOOO boring. They just don't do anything that I want to do." Even now that I'm older (and hopefully more mature), I hear adults say left and right, "We aren't doing what the students want. They're getting bored and we have to change something. If they get bored, they won't come back." Now I will admit that there is some truth to this. However, my fear is that today's youth programs are loosing the priority. The main focus isn't supposed to be trying to use the coolest video illustrations or the newest songs, but instead the focus is supposed to be in leading students to the throne of God, to encounter Him and leave changed. I'm not saying that using technology is a bad thing. In fact, I think that you need to use technology when working with youth. Technology is a HUGE part of this generation, and when you use something that is tangible to them, they have the opportunity to really use that as a platform in developing a deeper faith. The problem arrises when the youth have lost their focus. As soon as they rely upon the latest technology or the recent fad to grow and 'feed' them (I don't think it's very nourishing), they will become dependent upon those things (like a drug) and cannot (or will not) have anything to do with anything that doesn't involve those things.
Going back to DeVries first quote, I believe that this is a critical point/stance that his is making/taking, and after thinking about it, I think I agree with him. The theology in Christianity (with the exception to hard-Calvinism and other similar beliefs) is laced FULL of the concept of 'choice.' The reason why I bring this up, is because youth have the choice. Often times today some will try to shift the blame to others, saying that they just aren't interesting, as to why he or she isn't coming to youth group any longer. Yet at the same time, they STILL HAVE THE CHOICE. When a person makes a conscious choice to go somewhere or do something that isn't exactly what he or she 'likes' or finds 'interesting,' yet chooses it because he or she knows it's important, that person is showing a great deal of maturity. It is decisions like this that I feel help youth to develop and mature more spiritually and as a person. If this idea were to become contagious and catch on among the youth of today, I think that this crisis would dissolve, as the maturing youth become mature Christian adults.
"But keeping teenagers from ever being bored in their faith deprives them of the opportunity to develop the discipline and perseverance they need to live the Christian life." (p 27)
"Mature Christian adults, then, are those people who no longer depend on whistles and bells to motivate them to live out their faith." (p 28)
This is HUGE!!! I've always heard from youth around me growing up, "Man, I don't want to go to youth group tonight. It's SOOOO boring. They just don't do anything that I want to do." Even now that I'm older (and hopefully more mature), I hear adults say left and right, "We aren't doing what the students want. They're getting bored and we have to change something. If they get bored, they won't come back." Now I will admit that there is some truth to this. However, my fear is that today's youth programs are loosing the priority. The main focus isn't supposed to be trying to use the coolest video illustrations or the newest songs, but instead the focus is supposed to be in leading students to the throne of God, to encounter Him and leave changed. I'm not saying that using technology is a bad thing. In fact, I think that you need to use technology when working with youth. Technology is a HUGE part of this generation, and when you use something that is tangible to them, they have the opportunity to really use that as a platform in developing a deeper faith. The problem arrises when the youth have lost their focus. As soon as they rely upon the latest technology or the recent fad to grow and 'feed' them (I don't think it's very nourishing), they will become dependent upon those things (like a drug) and cannot (or will not) have anything to do with anything that doesn't involve those things.
Going back to DeVries first quote, I believe that this is a critical point/stance that his is making/taking, and after thinking about it, I think I agree with him. The theology in Christianity (with the exception to hard-Calvinism and other similar beliefs) is laced FULL of the concept of 'choice.' The reason why I bring this up, is because youth have the choice. Often times today some will try to shift the blame to others, saying that they just aren't interesting, as to why he or she isn't coming to youth group any longer. Yet at the same time, they STILL HAVE THE CHOICE. When a person makes a conscious choice to go somewhere or do something that isn't exactly what he or she 'likes' or finds 'interesting,' yet chooses it because he or she knows it's important, that person is showing a great deal of maturity. It is decisions like this that I feel help youth to develop and mature more spiritually and as a person. If this idea were to become contagious and catch on among the youth of today, I think that this crisis would dissolve, as the maturing youth become mature Christian adults.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
The Family Chapter 8
Family and spirituality. These two subjects often times two of hot conversation among people around the country today. Whether it's, "Don't tell me what my family should believe!!!" or "We don't talk about God at home. That's what church is for." many people have some pretty concrete thoughts about how they thing their family and their spiritual life should mix. In chapter 8 of "The Family," Balswick and Balswick layout a model for the way that they both feel one's family and the family's spirituality should relate together. This model is a trinitarian form model with three parts.
1) Each family member is differentiated in his/her identity in Christ.
2) Within the context of the family, each family member establishes his/her own differentiated faith.
3) The spirituality of the family as a whole become differentiated and thus serves as a catalyst that unifies and transforms each family member's life.
After reading through this chapter and really chewing on what this model would bring about, I began to realize that the ideas and thoughts that I have on the subject of family spirituality, are very similar to it. I strongly believe that if a person is going to truly become a Christian and become the person that God intends for him/her, then he/she is going to have to develop his/her own faith. I don't mean that they come up with a new religion by any means. What I mean by that, is that each individual will "own" their faith. What they believe and why they believe it will be real and personal to him/her. No longer will a son or a daughter be living off of his/her parent's faith.
This past summer I was chose to become the youth intern at Bridges Christian Church in Russell, Kentucky. This was an exciting thing for me to do. One of my best friends had just become the youth minister there earlier in the year and he was looking to basically "reset" the youth group. The direction that we wanted to take the youth group in, was based upon this very concept, "How do we get students excited about their faith so that they will make it real and make it their own?" The verse that really fueled our efforts and plans for the youth group was 2 Corinthians 1.24. "But that does not mean we want to dominate you by telling you how to put your faith into practice. We want to work together with you so you will be full of joy, for it is by your own faith that you stand firm"
I believe that whenever you have a differentiated faith within your family, each individual has their "own" faith and knows what they believe and why they believe it. Not only does this allow each individual to stand firm, but it also proves to be a catalyst for growth and change among the other members of that individual's family. This is what Balswick and Balswick are getting at in their model for family spirituality. Each family member has his/her own identity in Christ and no one can change that (1). Based upon this new identity in Christ, each family member develops his/her own faith based upon his/her unique life circumstances and experiences (2). Finally, each family member is responsible for his/her own faith, however members can push and encourage other members in areas where that member may be failing. There is a sense of accountability and a source of exhortation that is created and exists among the members of the family (3).
Sunday, February 6, 2011
The Family Chapter 2
Families are systems. This is something that when you realize, will begin to help you understand the make up of families as well as how they work. What I want to point out from Chapter 2, is the three types of interaction of members of one subsystem with members of other subsystems within the larger family system. As I was reading through the descriptions of the three, I immediately thought of families whom I know, that would fit as examples for each of them. The three types of interaction are 1) disengagement, 2) differentiation, and 3) enmeshment. Now I believe that these types of interactions can also be seen within churches. If I may, I would venture to say that two of the three descriptions fit a church who is dying or stagnant.
A) Disengagement
In a family, this not only looks like the subsystems are distanced, but each individual within the subsystem is also distanced from the other. The marital dyad of husband and wife are distanced, the parental relationships between mother-daughter, mother-son, father-daughter, and father-son are also distanced. This leads to a severely handicapped family. Members are not in the type of relationship that I feel God calls us to have. Now within the church, I believe this is one of the indications that the congregation is struggling. It might look like a pastor who isn't cooperating with the elders, or elders who do not like the youth minister so they try to make his job as difficult as possible in hopes that he will leave. It also might look like ministries within the church not wanting to have anything to do with the others. Each ministry wants to do its own thing. This type of relationship and environment does not promote what God wants out of the church.
B) Enmeshment
In a family, this looks like each member of the family being overly dependent upon another. In this type of family, the son/daughter never truly establishes him/herself from his/her parents and when it becomes time for him/her to grow up and move out on his/her own, he/she runs into problems. Within a church, I believe this is also an interaction type that is an indicator of an unhealthy church. This church isn't like the other church in the respect that the ministries don't want anything to do with the others. In fact, this one takes to the opposite extreme. Ministries become so involved with each other that they do not make the necessary differentiations that are needed for particular age groups. This hinders the spiritual development of some children as well as some adults as they progress through the church's education system.
C) Differentiation
In a family, this looks like each member of the family being close with each other, yet at the same time not too overly dependent upon each other. This would be considered the healthy normal and balance between enmeshment and disengagement. Within the church, I believe that this is the indication of a healthy congregation. The ministries within the church work together to develop a big picture of how they want to teach and equip members of the congregation as they progress through childhood all the way into adulthood. Each ministry has its own unique properties that allow for there to be a time of growth and adaption as each student/adult enters into a new educational level.
In closing, Balswick and Balswick mentioned that there may be times where families (and I might add church congregations) will adapt and become any one of these three interaction types. The important thing to remember however, is that it is imperative that the primary and predominant type should be differentiation. I believe that this allows for maximum growth with individuals both within the church and within the family.
A) Disengagement
In a family, this not only looks like the subsystems are distanced, but each individual within the subsystem is also distanced from the other. The marital dyad of husband and wife are distanced, the parental relationships between mother-daughter, mother-son, father-daughter, and father-son are also distanced. This leads to a severely handicapped family. Members are not in the type of relationship that I feel God calls us to have. Now within the church, I believe this is one of the indications that the congregation is struggling. It might look like a pastor who isn't cooperating with the elders, or elders who do not like the youth minister so they try to make his job as difficult as possible in hopes that he will leave. It also might look like ministries within the church not wanting to have anything to do with the others. Each ministry wants to do its own thing. This type of relationship and environment does not promote what God wants out of the church.
B) Enmeshment
In a family, this looks like each member of the family being overly dependent upon another. In this type of family, the son/daughter never truly establishes him/herself from his/her parents and when it becomes time for him/her to grow up and move out on his/her own, he/she runs into problems. Within a church, I believe this is also an interaction type that is an indicator of an unhealthy church. This church isn't like the other church in the respect that the ministries don't want anything to do with the others. In fact, this one takes to the opposite extreme. Ministries become so involved with each other that they do not make the necessary differentiations that are needed for particular age groups. This hinders the spiritual development of some children as well as some adults as they progress through the church's education system.
C) Differentiation
In a family, this looks like each member of the family being close with each other, yet at the same time not too overly dependent upon each other. This would be considered the healthy normal and balance between enmeshment and disengagement. Within the church, I believe that this is the indication of a healthy congregation. The ministries within the church work together to develop a big picture of how they want to teach and equip members of the congregation as they progress through childhood all the way into adulthood. Each ministry has its own unique properties that allow for there to be a time of growth and adaption as each student/adult enters into a new educational level.
In closing, Balswick and Balswick mentioned that there may be times where families (and I might add church congregations) will adapt and become any one of these three interaction types. The important thing to remember however, is that it is imperative that the primary and predominant type should be differentiation. I believe that this allows for maximum growth with individuals both within the church and within the family.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
The Family Chapter 1
The Family
- Jack Balswick and Judith Balswick
And so we begin...
This first post is going to be about something that really stuck out to me in the first chapter of this book. It didn't take too long for me to get into this chapter before I stumbled across something that really got me thinking. This beginning chapter is setting the stage for the rest of the book and explaining how the authors understand a family system to be modeled after the trinity communion. If this is true, then their view about the relationship between family members being a covenant instead of a contract is spot on. Let's start with the major difference between the two. A covenant is something that someone doesn't enter into lightly. A covenant is an agreement/promise that isn't to be broken. A contract is an agreement which continues to exist until the specified time is up or a member of the contract fails to live up to his or her end of the deal, in which case the other individual(s) can terminate the contract. On page 22, I read,
"Because relationships are dynamic and ever changing, if a relationship does not spiral to deeper levels of commitment, grace, empowering, and intimacy, it will stagnate and fixate on contract rather than covenant, law rather than grace, possessive power rather than empowering, and distance rather than intimacy."
When I read this, I was completely blown away. Now this concept might not be earth-shattering for many, but this was something that I needed to read and hear in this way at this very moment. This simple sentence speak a GREAT truth that we all need to be reminded of every now and again. How many times have you found yourself in a relationship with someone with whom you are very close with, but for some reason you are finding yourself getting short with him or her and getting extremely frustrated with the other person? Have you ever taken a moment to check yourself? If our relationships here on earth are to be modeled after God's relationships because we are made in His image (imago dei), then we aren't doing something right. In fact, if you find yourself in the description I just detailed, you might want to evaluate yourself and see what you are expecting out of that particular relationship. Are you taking a contract stance/viewpoint instead of a covenant? Are you looking for the other person for follow a list of rules and expectations that you have for them (law) instead of being him/herself and allowing you to exercise grace if he/she does something that offends you? Are you looking to control the person instead of help them become more than what they currently are (empowering)? Each of these things pushes you further and further away from the other person. I found myself in this situation not too long ago, and I'm still trying to correct my mental processes and recover from it. I guess my point is this. God loves us with a covenant love. He won't stop loving us. Even though we do things that He doesn't like and that hurt Him, He still loves us and offers us grace and forgiveness through Jesus Christ. God also calls us to conform to the example and be more like his son Jesus as we grow in our faith. If we are growing more Christ-like, then our desires and human make-up are changing. Our contract love and expectations are and should be changed into covenant ones. It's the way were intended to be.
- Jack Balswick and Judith Balswick
And so we begin...
This first post is going to be about something that really stuck out to me in the first chapter of this book. It didn't take too long for me to get into this chapter before I stumbled across something that really got me thinking. This beginning chapter is setting the stage for the rest of the book and explaining how the authors understand a family system to be modeled after the trinity communion. If this is true, then their view about the relationship between family members being a covenant instead of a contract is spot on. Let's start with the major difference between the two. A covenant is something that someone doesn't enter into lightly. A covenant is an agreement/promise that isn't to be broken. A contract is an agreement which continues to exist until the specified time is up or a member of the contract fails to live up to his or her end of the deal, in which case the other individual(s) can terminate the contract. On page 22, I read,
"Because relationships are dynamic and ever changing, if a relationship does not spiral to deeper levels of commitment, grace, empowering, and intimacy, it will stagnate and fixate on contract rather than covenant, law rather than grace, possessive power rather than empowering, and distance rather than intimacy."
When I read this, I was completely blown away. Now this concept might not be earth-shattering for many, but this was something that I needed to read and hear in this way at this very moment. This simple sentence speak a GREAT truth that we all need to be reminded of every now and again. How many times have you found yourself in a relationship with someone with whom you are very close with, but for some reason you are finding yourself getting short with him or her and getting extremely frustrated with the other person? Have you ever taken a moment to check yourself? If our relationships here on earth are to be modeled after God's relationships because we are made in His image (imago dei), then we aren't doing something right. In fact, if you find yourself in the description I just detailed, you might want to evaluate yourself and see what you are expecting out of that particular relationship. Are you taking a contract stance/viewpoint instead of a covenant? Are you looking for the other person for follow a list of rules and expectations that you have for them (law) instead of being him/herself and allowing you to exercise grace if he/she does something that offends you? Are you looking to control the person instead of help them become more than what they currently are (empowering)? Each of these things pushes you further and further away from the other person. I found myself in this situation not too long ago, and I'm still trying to correct my mental processes and recover from it. I guess my point is this. God loves us with a covenant love. He won't stop loving us. Even though we do things that He doesn't like and that hurt Him, He still loves us and offers us grace and forgiveness through Jesus Christ. God also calls us to conform to the example and be more like his son Jesus as we grow in our faith. If we are growing more Christ-like, then our desires and human make-up are changing. Our contract love and expectations are and should be changed into covenant ones. It's the way were intended to be.
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